7 tips for dealing with college debt ? Yahoo Finance ? Debt ...

Congratulations, graduate! Now that you?ve got your degree, you have to put it to use to figure out how to get out from under your huge student loan debt. You?re not alone ? student loan debt in the United States has soared over $1 trillion and now exceeds credit card debt ? but experts say graduates can benefit from learning the ins and outs of repayment.

?Don?t panic. You?re not going to have to pay this off tomorrow,? says Reyna Gobel, author of AudioGO?s ?How Smart Students Pay for School: The Best Way to Save for College, Get the Right Loans and Repay Debt.? If you follow these seven tips, though, you should pay it off ? or find a way out ? eventually.

1. Take advantage of your grace period. Depending on the loan, you may have a post-graduation grace period of six months, such as for federal Stafford Loans, or nine months, such as for federal Perkins Loans. On other loans, including private loans, terms vary, so it?s important to check with your loan servicer. ?This is a great time to look at all the repayment options and really figure out what you can afford,? Gobel says.

2. Know your options. Standard repayment for federal student loans involves making fixed monthly payments of at least $50 over a term of up to 10 years ? so you end up paying less interest than if you stretch payments over a longer term. ?The rule of thumb is, if your total debt at graduation is less than your annual starting salary, you should be able to pay the loan back in about 10 years,? says Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of FinAid.org. ?But if your debt exceeds your annual income, you?re going to struggle to repay the loan.? In those cases, other options for federal loans include: income-based repayment, extended repayment and graduated repayment. However, you might end up paying a lot more: ?Let?s say you do extended repayment and you increase the term from 10 years to 20 years,? Kantrowitz says. ?The monthly payment will go down by about a third, but the total interest you pay over the life of the loan will more than double.? ( Student Aid on the Web , a site from the U.S. Department of Education, offers a list of all repayment plans.

3. Test several repayment plans. During your grace period, experts recommend crunching numbers on online student loan calculators to see how different repayment plans would affect your budget. ?Start making pretend student loan payments,? Gobel says. She recommends trying out your different repayment options each month during your grace period and banking the money. Not only do you make room in your budget for your loan payment and decide which repayment plan makes the most sense, but you build up an emergency fund that can help you stay out of credit card debt, she says. ?If your student loan payment would have been $300, you can amass $1,800 in that time,? Gobel says. ?It?s a nice starter.?

4. Be careful about consolidating. Consolidation can make sense, experts say. For example, if you want income-based repayment and your lender doesn?t offer it, if you want a no-hassle way to remove a co-signer from a private loan or if you?re juggling many loans. However, keeping loans separate also has benefits. ?It allows you to accelerate repayment,? Kantrowitz says, by paying down several loans at once rather than making one payment a month toward one loan. If you?re trying to decide which loan to pay extra on right now, though, he says you should add about 4 percentage points to the interest rate of a variable-rate private loan, when comparing it to a fixed-rate federal loan, to factor in future rate hikes. He says: ?If you?ve got extra money, you want to be able to target it to the highest-rate loan. That will save you more money in the long term.?

5. Get smart about payments. Make savvy decisions about your student loans and you can have them paid off more quickly and save thousands of dollars, experts say. Here are some ways to diminish your debt:

• Have a plan. ?When you?re being pulled in six or seven different directions ? credit card debt, student loans, retirement and savings for short-term things such as buying a home, getting married or having a baby, it?s important to have a clear plan,? says Alexa von Tobel, founder and CEO of money management site LearnVest.
• Find ways to pay extra. ?Every little bit helps,? says Gobel, who recommends looking for painless ways to save, such as trimming $15 off a monthly cellphone bill or shopping for a better deal on car insurance. She also recommends using the SallieMae site Upromise.com when doing regular shopping to get cash back rewards toward your student loan. One borrower, she says, was able to get $300 a year in rewards by booking travel for work and printing and using grocery coupons from the site. ?That?s a payment a year,? Gobel says.
• Don?t overuse forbearance or deferment. Forbearance, which typically is easier to get, allows you to put off or reduce payments for up to three years. Deferment allows you to temporarily stop making payments for a certain period in specific situations, such as a return to school, unemployment or having a baby. You must still pay the interest, either during the deferment or forbearance, or later, except for a deferment on a subsidized federal loan. Use these options only if you?re in a real jam, experts say. ?You don?t want to use it because you?d really like to go on vacation,? Gobel says. If you do use them, don?t overdo it. ?I don?t recommend using them for more than a few months because interest continues to accrue, digging you into a deeper hole,? Kantrowitz says.

6. Know your escape hatches. The federal government offers several options for limiting the size of your monthly payments and total amount paid over the life of the loan and even offers a few escape routes for qualified borrowers. Here are some options:

• Income-based repayment can be forgiving. First, experts say, income-based repayment limits the chunk your student loan can take out of your budget each month, now to 15 percent of your discretionary income and soon to 10 percent. ?Income-based repayment represents a pretty good safety net for borrowers who are overwhelmed by their federal loans,? Kantrowitz says. Then, after you pay for 25 years ? or 10 years if you work full-time in a public service field ? you?re done paying. Eligible public service jobs include: public school teachers, firefighters, government workers, public librarians, public university professors and employees of nonprofit organizations, Kantrowitz says.
• Volunteer, teach and other ways out. For some borrowers, there are options for erasing part or all of a federal student loan. According to FinAid.org , options include volunteering for a program such as AmeriCorps ? a year of service now gets you about $5,500 toward your loans ? being in the military or teaching in a low-income area, which allows you to shave increasing percentages off your loans for five years.

7. Avoid default at all costs. ?You don?t want to default on federal student loans because it won?t do you any good,? says Kantrowitz, noting that you can?t get rid of student loan debt via bankruptcy, and the federal government can intercept tax refunds, garnish as much as 15 percent of your disposable pay without a court order and even take a cut of your Social Security check. He says: ?Just the garnishment will be higher than what you would be paying under income-based repayment, so there isn?t any financial benefit to defaulting.?

Instead, if you?re in serious trouble, Kantrowitz recommends tracking what you spend, then slashing all non-mandatory expenses such as cable, cellphone and restaurant meals, and even moving back in with mom and dad if necessary. He says: ?These are tough love types of choices.?

See related: Debunking a myth about wage garnishment and student loans , $1 trillion in student loan debt ? worth it? , Unhappy with student loan terms? Consider these options

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Glutamine: The ultimate healing supplement

(NaturalNews) The healing powers of glutamine are vast and understated. This completely safe and natural amino acid supplement has been studied for the past 15 years for its unique and compelling healing properties. It is now clear to researchers that glutamine is key in healing the body from certain diseases and ailments.

Glutamine is the most abundant amino acid in the blood stream, and while the body is able to produce the amino acid, it becomes unable to produce sufficient amounts of it during times of stress. This makes it a conditionally essential amino acid. Conditionally essential amino acids must be obtained from dietary sources or supplements when the body is unable to produce enough of them. Times of stress include anytime the body has undergone trauma or contracted illness or disease that it must heal from.

It is estimated that 6 percent of people carry the ulcer causing bacteria their stomach, H. pylori. The antibiotics typically used to treat H. pylori can cause side effects and create a resistance in the bacteria. Research now shows that glutamine supplementation can safely and effectively protect against and repair the damage caused by H. pylori. Glutamine is the single most prescribed ulcer medication in Asia.

Glutamine plays an important role in strengthening the lining if the gut. With the many chemicals the human stomach is exposed to these days, there is a good chance your gut may require some maintenance and repair. Gut health is necessary and essential for overall health and well being.

Even serious gastrointestinal and digestive diseases such as Crohn's, IBS and Colitis can see substantial improvement with glutamine supplementation. Glutamine supplies fuel for fast multiplying cells, such as those in the gastrointestinal systems. Many of the drugs used to treat these diseases only mask the symptoms, while causing serious side effects. On the other hand, there are studies in which patients of these diseases have seen nearly complete recovery with glutamine supplementation alone.

Glutamine is also useful for treating diarrhea, as it decreases loss of electrolytes and water from the small intestines. Glutamine's role in the health and healing of the gut and intestines is unparalleled.

Hospital acquired infections greatly increase the mortality rates of post surgery patients and are responsible for up to $33 billion in preventable health care costs. A 2010 meta-analysis of 14 studies (published in "Journal of Parenteral and Enteral Nutrition") where intravenous glutamine was administered in critically ill surgical patients, showed that glutamine significantly reduced hospital duration of stay and infectious complications compared to control groups.

Glutamine is known for its ability to enhance immune function and to decrease healing time in burn patients. Glutamine is the major amino acid lost during any tissue injury, implying that it has a significant role in the healing and recovery process.

Athletes who are interested in preserving muscle tissue and decreasing recovery time from training sessions can benefit from glutamine. Two thirds of the glutamine stores in the body reside within the muscle tissue. During times of stress and intense physical exertion the body releases high levels of the muscle wasting hormone cortisol, which can decrease glutamine stores. Supplementing glutamine can help keep the body in an anabolic state, making it easier to build and maintain muscle mass.It is necessary to supplement glutamine if you are interested in its healing and anabolic benefits. The wound healing properties of glutamine are only present in amounts 2 to 7 times greater than required in healthy persons.

Daily dosage recommendations

Ulcers - 2 grams
Anabolic purposes - 5-15 grams
Gastrointestinal diseases - 5-20 grams

Glutamine, which can be purchased online and at health-food stores, is far less expensive and much safer than most medications that it can be used as a substitute for.

Sources for this article include:

http://www.naturalnews.com/033532_l-glutamine_gut_health.html
http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/glutamine-000307.htm
http://www.lef.org/protocols/health_concerns/trauma_02.htm
http://jn.nutrition.org/content/131/9/2543S.full
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11151079
http://americannutrition.wordpress.com

About the author:
John Mckiernan is a health and fitness writer. He is the owner of http://Supplementhelper.com/ where he writes about supplements, health, fitness and more.

Have comments on this article? Post them here:

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Busy May - Simple Update for Now | Business PR News

May this year is a blessing!? We have been extremely busy, especially with new projects.? This project has a high benefit for our business community.? Will keep you all updated by the end of today with May Newsletter Update, so stay tuned for that later on today.?

For now, I will choose the top 10 articles that we have in our BusinessPRnews.com for our business community, and repost them.? So, stay tuned and enjoy!

Thanks and chat with you all tonight via our Newsletter Update!

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Rheem Water Heaters Continue to Impress and ... - IdeaMarketers.com

As people think of the appliances in their homes, they often overlook their water heaters. These appliances are constantly used but they aren't given much thought. When the time comes to replace them, Rheem water heaters are the best and should be the only heaters that are considered.

Rheem water heaters are manufactured to fit a wide variety of needs. There are some people that want to conserve energy, heat unconventional places and some people just want to save space. No matter what their concerns are, Rheem has created a water heater that will satisfy those concerns. They take the thought out of choosing a water heater.

There are some people that want to have a completely modern home. They don't like the thought of having a bulky water heater in their basement, wasting valuable space. As these homeowners look for different products, they find that Rheem offer a tankless water heater. These water heaters are compact, not weighing more than 55 pounds. These tanks can heat water on demand and continue a steady stream of hot water through the home as needed.

Some people are concerned with sustainable living. They want to live a healthy life while leaving a small negative impact on the Earth's atmosphere. These customers are often thrilled to learn solar powered Rheem water heaters are available for home use. These types of water heaters will help save money on utility bills because there is less electricity and gas used to heat the water heater as well as fewer gas emissions put into the atmosphere.

There are some people that are able to have the luxury of a spa or pool at their home. When they want to heat either of them, they are able to find Rheem water heaters to heat them. These water heaters allow people to continue to use their pools and spas all year round.

With all the innovative creations that are available for water heaters, there are some homeowners that still prefer traditional tank water heaters. Rheem understands that and with their engineering, they have upgraded their water heater tanks to support even the most demanding hot water needs. Their tanks have been redesigned do be environmentally friendly as well efficient.

Businesses can also take advantage of the quality that Rheem water heaters give. There are many businesses that need to have hot water available and the commercial water heaters are strong enough to keep up with the demands. There are many varieties that businesses can choose from.

Since the 1930s, Rheem water heaters have been available. They have met and exceeded the industry's expectations and standards. The engineers at Rheem take the time to quality test their products ensuring that all regulations are met. These beautifully produced heaters are the product of a team that believes in what they do.

I'm a mechanic specializing in Seattle home windows. Check out my Website at http://www.washingtonenergy.com.

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Finding A Cheap Cell Phone Accessory - Free Finance Business ...

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In accordance with cellphone accessory reviews, there are many different great cell phone accessories that you can buy that can be used to make the cellphone more beautiful, useful and longer lasting. You will discover cheap cell phones accessories which allow individuals to change the look of their phone, affect the ring tones which can be around the phone, and many other simple fixes.

These cheap mobile phones accessories are available on the internet also in discount stores. In addition there are sometimes some phone works with accessories that could be found in cellular telephone stores to ensure that when a new cell phone is bought, there are various accessories that is included in it free of charge or for a discounted cost.

Options

One of the most popular cheap cell phones accessories would be the cellular phone cover. These cell phone covers place various different formats. One type can be a rubber cellular telephone cover which enables you to protect the cellular phone from damage if it is dropped or scraped against something more important.

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You'll find those who alter the look of these cellular telephone through these cheap cell phones accessories in order to make them choose their outfit during or style of situation that they're likely to be in, for instance pleasure or business.

A different sort of cheap cell phones accessory would be the cell phone holder. There are numerous cell phone cases which will clip towards belt in order to the purse strap so the cell phone is readily available for use continually.

There are some purses as well as other bags that contain a cell phone holder in it so the phone is protected and readily available for use. There are also some brief cases and computer cases which may have cell phone holders within them as well as places to hold the phone chargers along with other cheap cell phones accessories.

Form cheap cell phones accessories, there are other accessories which aren't inexpensive to obtain. There are batteries, headsets along with parts which can be useful to anybody when using the cellular phone. Moreover, there are numerous fun sites online that allow people to change ring tones and wallpaper, just by fun.

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Source: Finding A Cheap Cell Phone Accessory
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6 : Apple iPod and iPhone Docking Stations ? Popular Christmas Gift Idea for Black Friday Sales

With Thanksgiving just around the corner many people will look to get their Christmas gift purchases done early in 2010.

7 : LG Env2 Phone Cases ? Get Protection and Be Fashionable

There are a lot of people who dresses up their precious gadgets. May it be there digital cameras, laptops, or their handheld game consoles. It is safe to say that they simply want to be hip, but the most important thing is that it actually gives protection to their units.

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Cell phones have come a long way since the early days of the 1980s when they were the size of a brick and weighed almost as much.

10 : Fun iPhone Accessories for Kids

Recently, apple iPhone has become the essential item. We can?t neglect the large amount of iPhones owners among young teenagers.

11 : Better Than Average iPhone Accessories

These days, it has become a necessity to have an iPhone. Naturally, you are only going to want the best iphone accessories. Some of them may seem pretty strange but there is a practical use for all of them. Here are some of the most common.

12 : The Top iPhone Bluetooth Accessories

Are you an iPhone owner? What kind of Bluetooth accessories that you have used in it? As we know, iPhone is a smart phone that can be connected with many devices such as MP3, camera or multi-touch screen.

13 : Griffin Survivor for iPhone 4 ? Best Grip Case Protection

For the utmost protection for your iphone 4 dock, you cannot go wrong with the Griffin Survivor & Beltclip Case.

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Senate committee cuts Pakistan aid over conviction

WASHINGTON (AP) ? A Senate panel expressed its outrage Thursday over Pakistan's conviction of a doctor who helped the United States track down Osama bin Laden, cutting aid to Islamabad by $33 million ? $1 million for every year of the physician's 33-year sentence for high treason.

The punitive move came on top of deep reductions the Appropriations Committee had already made to President Barack Obama's budget request for Pakistan, a reflection of the growing congressional anger over its cooperation in combatting terrorism. The overall foreign aid budget for next year had slashed more than half of the proposed assistance and threatened further reductions if Islamabad fails to open overland supply routes to U.S. and NATO forces in Afghanistan.

Pushing aside any diplomatic talk, Republicans and Democrats criticized Pakistan one day after the conviction of Shakil Afridi. The doctor ran a vaccination program for the CIA to collect DNA and verify bin Laden's presence at the compound in Abbottabad where U.S. commandos found and killed the al-Qaida leader in May 2011.

The United States has called for Afridi's release, arguing that he was acting in the interest of the United States and Pakistan.

"We need Pakistan, Pakistan needs us, but we don't need Pakistan double-dealing and not seeing the justice in bringing Osama bin Laden to an end," said Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., who pushed for the additional cut in aid.

He called Pakistan "a schizophrenic ally," helping the United States at one turn, but then aiding the Haqqani network which has claimed responsibility for several attacks on Americans. The group also has ties to al-Qaida and the Taliban.

"It's Alice in Wonderland at best," said Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt. "If this is cooperation, I'd hate like hell to see opposition."

One of the most forceful statements came from Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., who also serves that the chairman of the Intelligence Committee. She pointed out that Pakistan has suffered at the hands of terrorists yet misconstrued what is treason in convicting Afridi. She also insisted that Afridi was not a spy.

"This is a very sad day," she said.

The committee approved Graham's amendment to cut the assistance by $33 million on a 30-0 vote.

In crafting the overall legislation, the committee reduced Obama's request to aid Pakistan by 58 percent as resentment and doubts linger on Capitol Hill a year after bin Laden was killed deep inside Pakistan. Tensions between Washington and Islamabad have increased as Pakistan closed overland supply routes to Afghanistan after a U.S. attack on the Pakistani side of the border killed 24 Pakistani soldiers in November.

The United States and Pakistan failed to resolve the issue at the recent NATO summit in Chicago.

Members of the Senate committee also complained about mafia-style extortion by Pakistan in seeking truck fees in exchange for opening the supply lines. The cost had been $250 per truck prior to the attack. Pakistan is now demanding $5,000 per truck. The United States has countered at $500.

The bill would provide just under $1 billion in aid to Pakistan, including $184 million for State Department operations and $800 million for foreign assistance. Counterinsurgency money for Pakistan would be limited to $50 million.

The legislation also conditions the counterinsurgency aid on Pakistan reopening the supply routes.

Islamabad won't get any of the funds for counterinsurgency or money in prior legislation unless the secretary of state certifies to the Appropriations committees that "the government of Pakistan has reopened overland cargo routes available to support United States and North Atlantic Treaty Organization troops in Afghanistan, and funds appropriated under this heading can be used efficiently and effectively by the end of the fiscal year," the legislation says

If the secretary can't certify to Congress, the money would be transferred to other accounts.

The overall legislation would fund the State Department, foreign operations and other programs at $52.1 billion, which is $2.6 billion less than what Obama requested for the 2013 fiscal year beginning Oct. 1 and $1.2 billion below current spending.

The panel also cut money Obama proposed for Iraq by 77 percent, citing the deteriorating security situation there. The bill would provide $1.1 billion for Iraq, including $582 million in foreign assistance but no money for the police development program.

The panel also cut $5 million from the $250 million in economic assistance for Egypt. Graham said it equaled the amount the U.S. spent to get non-government workers out earlier this year, including Sam LaHood, son of Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood.

Wading into the dispute over Palestinian refugees, the panel approved a version of an amendment from Sen. Mark Kirk, R-Ill., that would require the secretary of state to submit a report to Congress on the number of Palestine refugees who were displaced by the 1948 Arab-Israeli conflict, the number of descendants and who receives assistance from the United Nations Relief and Works Agency.

The issue of whether to count refugees and their descendants is a divisive one. Some 5 million Palestine refugees receive assistance from the U.N. agency. A third of registered refugees live in camps in Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, the Gaza Strip and the West Bank.

The State Department and Jordan opposed the original Kirk amendment and it was modified by Leahy.

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?The line between 'extraordinary measures' and 'palliative care'?: An ...

Laurie Foos is the author of the novels In Utero, Portrait of the Walrus by a Young Artist, Twinship, Bingo Under the Crucifix, and Before Elvis There Was Nothing. She currently teaches at Lesley University and lives on Long Island. Foos? essay, ?On Bearing Witness,? recounts helping her father through his long illness and death. Interview conducted by Jasmine Turner.

***?

How would you describe your family?s experiences with end-of-life care???????????? ??????????? ???????????

What has remained difficult for me?even now, nearly four years after my father?s death?has been separating the actual last days of his life from the length of the disease?s toll on him and his long suffering. He suffered for such a long time, much longer than any of us who loved him could have ever foreseen. My father experienced additional complications, some of which were related?and some not?to the cancer, and so it became impossible for him to take morphine.? He lived for the better part of the 15 months that the cancer was terminal having to take Percocet, which took the edge off the pain, I think, but did not help him in the way palliative measures are meant to help. He also had a tremendous tolerance for pain and an enormously strong core, all of which conspired both to keep him with us longer and to prolong his suffering. His strength and will, through the course of his illness, worked both for and against him.

In his last days, my mother took care of him, and even though hospice care was in place, as anyone who has been through it knows, the nurses and aides do not come to the home very often. That part of things surprised me, as I?d expected more visits, more checking in, just, well ? more. The nurse who oversaw his care was lovely and straightforward, and I think back often to the conversation I had the night before he died and how I missed the fact that she was trying to tell me, really, how close he was to the end. I?ve since spoken with a good friend whose father died in a hospice facility, and in her experience, the nurses there walked her through exactly what to expect. My mother didn?t want?or need?anyone else there, and so I think the families of those patients who die at home feel more isolated, perhaps. Impending death is an isolating?and insulating?experience, anyway, so the question of how often strangers should participate is one that is multi-layered. The more people there are around, the more the dying person holds on. I see that now. My mother took amazing care of my father?better than any health care worker could have, I?m sure. I don?t think he was in any pain at the very end, but I still cannot say, even after all this time, that his death was peaceful. It?s hard to watch that much and that level of suffering and then call the end ?peaceful.? I hope it was. I wasn?t there at the actual moment; only my brother was present.

You write that your father died ?in increments,? little by little. Do you think that was a direct consequence of the care he received?

I think many things worked against him for the suffering to last for so long. He was strong, really physically strong?he?d lifted weights, had been an athlete?and when the body is strong at its core, it is less able to be overtaken. Add that to the fact that my father had this overpowering will to live. He did not want to go, not even at the end in those last weeks in the hospital. It is human to want to point a finger at someone or something when someone you love is suffering. There is a need to name the thing that is causing it because naming it might help, you imagine, to understand why things so horrible are happening. He lasted so long partly because of his strength, partly because of sheer will, and partly because the cancer did not move the way colon cancer usually does, from colon to liver. Instead, it metastasized to a place on his ureter tube and pelvic bone and lay there in wait for months and months.

Part of palliative measures, in my father?s case, was the surgical fitting of a colostomy bag. Having the colostomy devastated him. He never recovered from having to live that way. It changed him utterly. Without the surgery, though, as I detail in the essay, he would have died then, and died a violent death. My father protested, but he gave in?later, he said, because he could not bear to have us remember his death in that way. However, the fact is that doctors and hospitals are designed to keep people living, not to kill them or to allow them to die. I?m sure the hospital would have stepped in somehow if he?d refused, or he would have lost consciousness and the ability to refuse. I?m not entirely sure that some measures are a kindness, to be frank. I?m not sure the colostomy was a kindness, or where the line between ?extraordinary measures? and ?palliative care? ought to be drawn. There are no easy answers. In the last three weeks of his life, my father went into kidney failure, which resulted in bouts of agonizing dialysis. Because he was in a hospital, they had to keep him alive, you see. Even if he was terminal, as they well knew, they simply could not allow his body to fail. My father signed his own DNR while in the hospital that last time, though he told none of us. We found out only when they suspended the DNR to insert a nephrostomy tube so that he could be sent home to die. So, you see, it?s a very complicated issue. I was very angry with the doctors and the hospital for the stopping and starting of that procedure several times before they successfully inserted the tube, and there have been times when I?ve wished much of what happened to him in the last few months of his?life could be erased, that he would have been allowed to go without intervention. The memories of that time linger in me. I try not to dwell on them, but they come sometimes unbidden, and sometimes, yes, I do feel there is some blame attached not even specifically to the care he was given but to the system. Of course it is imperfect. Doctors are human beings, too, and many of them liked my father very much and tried their best to help him. Atul Gawande wrote a brilliant essay in the New Yorker about this very issue, and the ways in which physicians become influenced by their patients? will to live. That essay was a great gift; it helped me to make sense of things that I?d not been able to make sense of before.

You?ve written several novels and pieces of short fiction. Was this?essay a big departure for you, in terms of style?

I?ve never written anything so naked, so utterly close to the bone. It terrified me, and yet writing about my father was something I knew I needed to do. I still feel that need. My fiction tends to run toward the surreal or magical realist or absurdist?whichever terms you prefer?and so while this piece had elements of the strangeness of life, I could not hide in this essay at all. Stylistically I had to figure out my own voice in nonfiction; I?m still working on that. But I believe, as a writer, that we should write the things that scare us most, and I am so grateful to have done it and to have worked with [CNF's associate editor] Stephen Knezovich so closely in revision. He showed me when I needed to bring in the fictive techniques; I learned a great deal in writing this piece.

What sort of difficulties did you face writing about such personal events?

There was a call for pieces for the anthology in The Writer?s Chronicle, and that ad was the impetus I?d been waiting for. I?d been thinking of writing about my father since his death, and really, even before then, while he was ill and dying. I?d lie in bed at night and have lines running through my head?whole scenes, even. This still happens, and I?m wrestling with a memoir about him.

One of the major difficulties for me?aside from being much less comfortable writing nonfiction?is the question of what my father would or would not want others to know. There is no sidestepping the ugliness of disease, especially when that disease directly involves the very private bodily functions of elimination. I worried?and worry still?how he might feel about my relating some of those events. I tried to tread lightly while remaining unflinching, as he had been.? There were many things I did not tell because I thought they belonged to him and should remain so. Ultimately, I relied on my father?s unabashed and sometimes embarrassing pride in me and in everything I did?which, of course, is one of the things that I miss about him most deeply. My father thought everything I did was brilliant, and some part of me felt that he would have encouraged me to speak his truth. What kept me going with the essay and now, in this memoir endeavor which I go back and forth on, is my belief that suffering of that depth should not go unrecorded. I remember thinking at the graveside, actually, that he had gone through so much, and that we were leaving him there with all of it, burying all of it with him. It was our job?or at least mine?not to forget. Once my brothers and my mother and I are gone, there will be no one to remember all he endured. It?s not that I wish to dwell on such dark matters, but that I cannot bear the idea that his suffering should be rendered meaningless. I do not ascribe to the notion that suffering is somehow redemptive, and I think often of our human desire to assign meaning to horrific things that happen, whether in vast numbers or in close contact with a loved one.

?While writing about your family, were you worried about what they might think about the way you describe them, or the events you recount?

As a writer I believe what I tell my students, which is that if we start putting constraints on what we can or cannot write about or worry about hurting people?s feelings, none of us would write anything. But I don?t always live by that credo, much as I try, so yes, I did worry about their reactions. I worried that my mother wouldn?t feel present enough in the essay, as she did so much of the caretaking, painstakingly so and without complaint, and much of it was unpleasant. I worried whether I remembered events the way they did, whether I got them right, and whether they would feel slighted or misrepresented if my memories didn?t match theirs. Also, as I said above, I worried about the issue of privacy and the question of whether they would feel I should not mention some of the unpleasant particulars. I also worried that having them read the piece would bring up some of the memories that perhaps they have been trying to leave behind them; saddening them further was the last thing I wanted. But they have been very supportive of the essay and of my need to write it.

I like the title, ?On Bearing Witness.? Can you explain the significance of it?

Titles are one of the hardest things for me as a writer. I just find them so difficult, always, and this one was no exception. I thought about what I?d been able to give to my father while he was so sick and actually dying, and that was simply being present. My father was an extremely generous man, generous both in the abstract and in the concrete. He was, as many people have said, the kind of man who would ?give you the shirt off his back.? And so he was generous in his sickness and death as well. I am so grateful to my father that he allowed me in, that he allowed me to be present for some of the things that took away so much of his dignity and self-preservation. He never said, ?Don?t come.? And he could have. His pain was intense and unrelenting, and yet he would talk with me, with all of us, and express his feelings about leaving us. He led the way for us, quite honestly. His ability to speak his feelings, to emote, to cry, allowed us to, as well. He let me see all of that, and I am grateful, as painful as the memories are, to have been there. I would not change that aspect of things at all, my being there. I saw it as my role to take it all in and to hold it for him, in some small way.

Your title alludes to the fact that you explore what it means to be a family member or friend watching the end of someone else?s life. What is the role of that person, that witness, in the death process?

I did a great deal of reading once the cancer became terminal. One of the things that struck me most was the notion in ?On Death and Dying? that the dying person must say goodbye to everything he or she has ever known, even his/her memories. How could that even be possible? I thought. How could anyone do that? I remember reading that and feeling this overwhelming sorrow for my father. I just sobbed. Afterward, I tried to bear in mind what I could do to help him, and mostly, I tried to listen. I tried, as best I could, to imagine how it must feel to wake up each day and know that one will be as bad or worse than the one before, and that the next will be also, and on and on. I tried to imagine it, though of course I couldn?t in the way that he could. I?d always been deeply connected to my dad emotionally, as we were a lot alike in that way, and I would try to anticipate what he might need to say and to offer him the opportunity to say it. Also, I think it is the responsibility of the witnesses to educate themselves about the dying process and to advocate on the person?s behalf. There will come a point at which the dying person will no longer be able to express what he or she needs or wants, and the witness must be vocal.?

You talk about the loss of dignity and independence in ?On Bearing Witness.? Do you think that could be fixed or addressed by the palliative care system, or do you view it more as a natural or unavoidable function of death?

We often speak of ?death with dignity,? but I don?t know exactly what that means. The body fails, and there are many unpleasant parts to be dealt with in its failings. There is no time for squeamishness. It would behoove us all to dispense with certain taboos, but then we would be talking about an overhaul in the culture, which of course is not likely to happen. Any kind of dialogue that can begin about dying to demystify it would be helpful, of course, and that is what this book is trying to do. But people do not want to talk about death or about the mechanics that actually involve dying. There is a great resistance in most people because we do know that we are all going to get there, but mostly we?d rather not think about that, thank you very much. It seems to me that opening up a dialogue between patients? loved ones and palliative care workers can only be beneficial.

You write about being relieved that your father would die at home. Why do you think that made such a difference to?you, and/or to your father?

He wanted to get out of there so badly. ?Please,? he said, ?get me out of here. They?re killing me.? It?s important to understand that my father had been admitted to that hospital either by ambulance or through surgery or complications umpteen times. By the time he died, so many of the nurses knew him. As good as any of the hospitals may be, they are sterile and isolating places. When I asked one of the nurses how my father was managing at night, she said, ?Oh, don?t worry, I look in at him, and he is peaceful.? Now, I knew that not to be the case. I wanted him to die in his own surroundings, among his own things, with my mother there to care for him, with us there to be with him as much as we could. I wanted to be there at the end, even, but I was not. Nor was my mother. I believe he chose my brother, and afterward I hugged my brother and said, ?I?m so glad it was you. I knew it was going to be you.? He always seemed more at ease when my brother was there, as my brother is a big guy, very much in control, very much someone you want beside you in a crisis. I didn?t want his last breath to come when he was alone in a sterile room, where perhaps he wouldn?t be found immediately. I wanted him to be home, with my mother, most of all, because that is where he wanted to be, with her. Always with her. And even though she wasn?t there at the exact moment of his death, she was there for all of it, and I know he knew that and would have wanted it that way, to be in the warmth of his own home, among the things and the people he loved the most. In that way, if in no other, his death was kind.

?***

Jasmine Turner, an editorial assistant for Creative Nonfiction, is a junior at the University of Pittsburgh studying English nonfiction writing, political science and French.

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